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Dear Future Coachella Girlfriend….
My name is Alex. My Coachella brother-in-law’s name is Adam. We’re Best Friends.
Realistically, we’re probably out of your league, but I figured I’d make this incase you were a fragile, recently divorced Natalie Portman.
Meet Adam (I know, right?). He’s 6'4 and 190lbs of a straight catch. Adam loves Romcoms (wish I was kidding), football, cuddling, and working out religiously; although he never seems to get any more jacked. Adam is 24 AS OF TODAY, favorite DJ is Kap Slap, lives in San Francisco as requested, and works at Deloitte in the auditing department (I know, right?).
Then there is me. I included a picture with my Mother for obvious reasons. I’m 23 (age is just a number), live in LA, & music is my life. This application is quite fitting as I manage electronic DJ’s, don’t want to say too much here and make this unfair for the other applicants. Although it might be already after posting that picture of Adam (I know, right?).
30% Bro? Check. We were in a fraternity at USC. (Also, beer pong skills, check that off the list too girlfriend).
7.5% Hipster? Check. Just look at that sweater.
12.5% Raver? Check. We all wore 70’s ski onesies to SnowGlobe this year.
50% normal? Can’t promise that one. Life Motto: Well behaved women rarely make history